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No. 5 - Song - Harry
| Harry: | Oh! when a young man takes a wife, His bachelor chrysalis shedding, He likes to start his married life With a quiet and snug little wedding. He don't want crowds of guests about, To vex him with fussy ovations, But he's been reckoning without His dear little partner's relations. For first there's Pa, and then there's Ma, And the whole of the crew Follow after them too; A man can't know a moment's peace With uncle and aunt and nephew and niece; The nieces have husbands, The husbands have mothers. The mothers have daughters, The daughters have brothers, You've got to kiss the lot, Fancy kissing that lot! |
| He soon resolves to "cut" this throng, And makes up his mind that he'll flout 'em; He gloats to find he gets along Exceedingly nicely without 'em. And when a lad or lass is born, He puzzles the gossips and gapers, And keeps it dark, but some Prize Ass Goes and shoves the news into the papers. So up comes Pa, of course there's Ma, And the whole of the crew Must come after them too; A man can't know a moment's peace With uncle and aunt and nephew and niece; The nieces bring husbands, The husbands bring mothers. The mothers their daughters, The daughters their brothers, You'd like to strangle the lot, Wipe them out on the spot. |
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| And when the races he has seen, And happened to hit on a winner, He wires his wife that he has been Detained for a company dinner. He should know better at his age, But forth to the Empire he sallies, And eyes the ladies on the stage, And the figures they cut in the ballets. When up comes Pa, of course without Ma; And a curious crew come to spy upon you, A man can't know a moment's peace With uncle and aunt and nephew and niece; The nieces bring husbands, The husbands bring mothers. The mothers their daughters, The daughters their brothers, Relations made on the spot, Very much on the spot. |
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Page modified 7 December 2016