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No. 8: Quartette (Ultrice, Teresa, Alfredo and Elvino)

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ULTRICE. Upon my word, miss!
TERESA.   Oh, it’s you, miss!
How d’ye do, miss?
      Didn’t know you
    Overheard, miss!
ULTRICE.   Oh, you spiteful —
TERESA (curseying). How politeful!
ULTRICE.     One I owe you,
  You tittle tattling, reckless, rattling, twopenny, ha’penny parcel of vanity!
TERESA. High gentility, amiability, both combined with true humility!
ULTRICE. You mischief-making, character-taking, clicking clacking bit of inanity!
TERESA. Play propriety, or society may suppose it’s inebriety.

TERESA. ULTRICE.
  You
  Play propriety,   tittle tattling, reckless, rattling,
  or society   Two-penny ha'penny parcel of vanity!
  may suppose it's   You mischief-making, character taking,
  inebriety!   clicking clacking bit of inanity!

ALFREDO. Now, ladies, pray you, listen to me.
Dicky-birds in their nests agree.
If they can do so, do so too.
TER. and ULT. What has it, pray, to do with you?
ULTRICE. Dicky-birds don’t, to gain their ends,
Depreciate their absent friends.
TERESA. Dicky-birds don’t, whate’er they hear,
Forget that they are ladies, dear!
ALL THREE. Dicky-birds tweetle, tweetle tweek,
Which may be silly, and does sound weak;
But dicky-birds don’t, whate’er they hear,
Forget that they are ladies, dear!
Dicky-birds tweetle, tweetle tweek,
Which may be silly, and does sound weak;
But dicky-birds don’t, whate’er they hear,
Forget that they are ladies, dear!

Enter ELVINO.

ELVINO. Now, pray you, attention! I’ve something to mention
        That ought your approval to win —
ULTRICE (interrupting). And dicky-birds never, or rarely, endeavour —
ELVINO.       Now, ladies, a truce to this din!
TERESA (interrupting). And dicky-birds don’t —
ELVINO.         Be quiet!
TERESA.           I won’t! —
        My fortune’s about to begin —
      The Duke and the Duchess (their quality such is)
        Themselves, and their kith and kin —
ULTRICE (interrupting). And dicky-birds rarely are treating me fairly —
ELVINO.      
Are going to stop at the inn!
OTHERS.      
  What!
ELVINO.       They’re going to stop at the inn!
OTHERS.      
  What!
ELVINO.       They’re going to stop at the inn!
ULTRICE.     The Duke and the Duchess fall into our clutches?
        A penance, no doubt, for some sin!
TERESA.     Perhaps it’s his figure, too portly for vigour,
        He’s stout and he wants to be thin!
ALFREDO.     At least their intention shows some condescension
        For comfort they can’t care a pin:
ELVINO.     For excellent eating
Affords a good greeting
        To people who stop at my inn!
      Good beds and warm sheeting,
They never want Keating,
        That ought their approval to win.

ELVINO. OTHERS.
  For excellent eating   Indifferent eating
  Affords a good greeting   Affords a poor greeting
  To people who stop at my inn!   To people who stop at this inn!
  For excellent eating   Indifferent eating,
  Good beds and warm sheeting,   Hard beds and damp sheeting
  That never want Keating,   (I hope they've some Keating),
  Afford a good greeting   Afford a poor greeting
  To people who stop at my inn,   To people who stop at this inn,
  To people who stop at my inn!   To people who stop at this inn!
  For excellent eating
  Affords a good greeting
  To people who stop at my inn!   A penance, no doubt, for some sin,
  Good beds and warm sheeting,   Hard beds and damp sheeting,
  That never want Keating,   (I hope they've some Keating),
  That ought their approval to win!   For people who stop at this inn!

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