Premonitory Symptoms by W. S. Gilbert

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Premonitory Symptoms

Fun, VIII - 28th November 1868

We're thoroughly clear of Folkestone Pier,
	With a holiday all to come;
With a beautiful day and a porte-monnaie,
	Containing a good round sum.
The waves are flecked with a foaming white,
	As they gaily raise their crest;
And on we dash in a steam-borne flight,
	With a breeze from the sou'-sou'-west.
		Merrily, merrily on we go,
			With many a quip and jest;
		So happy are we on a tumbling sea,
			With a breeze from the sou'-sou'-west.

We never were better in our lives,
	And long for a hearty meal;
Though every now and then arrives
	A shuddery kind of feel.
Though a shivery quivery kind of qualm,
	Just shimmers our manly breast;
It's jollier far than a perfect calm,
	Is a breeze from the sou'-sou'-west!
		Merrily, merrily on we go,
			With many a quip and jest;
		So happy are we on a tumbling sea,
			With a breeze from the sou'-sou'-west.

A film is spreading all over your eyes,
	And all the while you think,
It isn't so much in the steamboat's rise,
	As at each successive sink!
The drop-down after a wave, you find,
	Is the thing you most detest;
It leaves you, body and soul, behind,
	When the wind's at the sou'-sou'-west!
		Merrily, merrily on we go,
			With many a quip and jest;
		So happy are we on a tumbling sea,
			With a breeze from the sou'-sou'-west.

You find your tongue has attained a size
	You never remarked before;
You're much relieved when you close your eyes,
	You're shuddering more and more.
A sickening kind of warmth is felt
	Just under your manly chest,
You never should wear too tight a belt
	In a breeze from the sou'-sou'-west!
		Merrily, merrily on we go,
			With many a quip and jest;
		So happy are we on a tumbling sea,
			With a breeze from the sou'-sou'-west.

You shudder and quiver and quake on deck,
	And shiver and glow and freeze;
And you wish you'd nothing between your neck
	And your inorganic knees.
The climax comes, with a wrenching pain,
	It's agony quite, at best;
You swear that you never will cross again
	With the wind at the sou'-sou'-west!
		Merrily, merrily on we go,
			With many a quip and jest;
		So happy are we on a tumbling sea,
			With a breeze from the sou'-sou'-west.

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