Dialogue following No. 14

ALICE. Dear me I wish they had stayed! (To LILY) Oh Tiger-Lily, I wish you could talk?

LILY. We can talk, when there’s anybody worth talking to!

ALICE (almost in a whisper). And can all the flowers talk?

LILY. As well as you can and a great deal louder.

ROSE. It isn’t manners for us to begin, you know, and really was wondering when you’d speak. Said I to myself, “her face has got some sense in it, though it’s not a clever one.” Still you’re the right colour and that goes a long way.

LILY. I don’t care about the colour! If only her petals curled up a little more she’d be all right!

ALICE. Aren’t you sometimes frightened at being planted out here with nobody to take care of you?

ROSE. There’s a tree, what else is it good for?

ALICE. But what could it do if any danger came?

ROSE. It could bark. It says “Bough-wough”, and that’s why its branches are called boughs.

ALICE. How is it that you can talk so nicely? I’ve been in many gardens before but none of the flowers could talk!

LILY. Put your hand down and feel the ground, then you’ll know why!

ALICE (feeling the ground). It’s very hard, but I don’t see what that has to do with it.

LILY. In most gardens they make the beds too soft, so that the flowers are always asleep.

ALICE. I never thought of that before! Are there any more people in the garden besides me?

ROSE. There’s one other flower in the garden that can move about like you. I wonder how you do it, but she’s more bushy than you are.

ALICE. Is she like me? (aside) There’s another little girl in the garden somewhere.

ROSE. Well she has the same awkward shape as you, but she’s redder, and her petals are shorter, I think.

LILY. Her petals are done up close, almost like a Dahlia - not tumbled about anyhow like yours!

ALICE. Does she ever come out here?

ROSE. I daresay you’ll see her soon. She’s one of the thorny kind!

ALICE. Where does she wear the thorns?

ROSE. Why all round her head of course! I was wondering you hadn’t got some too. I thought it was the regular rule!

LILY. She’s coming, I can hear her footstep thump, thump, along the gravel walk.

Enter RED QUEEN

RED QUEEN. Where do you come from? And where are you going? Look up, speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers all the time.

ALICE. I’ve lost my way.

RED QUEEN. I don’t know what you mean by your way - all the ways about here belong to me - but why did you come here at all? Curtsey while you’re thinking what to say, it saves time.

ALICE. Indeed - I’ll try it when I go home, the next time I’m a little late for dinner.

RED QUEEN. It’s time for you to answer now, open your mouth a little wider when you speak, and always say “Your Majesty”.

ALICE. I wanted to see what the garden was like, your Majesty.

RED QUEEN (patting ALICE’s head). That’s right, though when you say “garden”, I’ve seen gardens compared with which, this would be a wilderness.

ALICE. And I thought I’d try to find my way to the top of that hill.

RED QUEEN. When you say “hill”, I could show you hills in comparison with which you would call that a valley.

ALICE. No I shouldn’t, a hill can’t be a valley you know. That would be nonsense.

RED QUEEN (shaking her head). You may call it nonsense, but I’ve heard nonsense compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary. Would you like to play Chess?

ALICE (curtseying). Oh yes, your Majesty. What fun it would be. How I wish I was one of you. I wouldn’t mind being a pawn if only I might join - though of course I should like to be a Queen best.

RED QUEEN. That’s easily managed. You can be the White Queen’s Pawn, if you like, as Lily’s too young to play, and you’re in the second square to begin with; when you get to the eighth square you’ll be a Queen, come along! You’ll see Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

Takes ALICE by the hand and both run off. Enter TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE solemnly, and take up position side by side, umbrella behind.