Dialogue following No. 15

Enter ALICE

ALICE. Here they are! I suppose they’ve each got TWEEDLE round at the back of the collar.

They stand still and ALICE is going round to inspect the back of their collars.

DUM. If you think we’re waxworks you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren’t made to be looked at for nothing. Nohow!

DEE. Contrariwise, if you think we’re alive you ought to speak.

ALICE. I’m sure I’m very sorry.

DUM. I know what you’re thinking about, but it isn’t so, nohow.

DEE. Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be, but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.

ALICE. I was thinking which is the best way out of this wood. Would you tell me, please? (They only look at each other and at her, and grin. ALICE points her finger at TWEEDLEDUM.) First Boy!

DUM. Nohow!

ALICE. Next Boy!

DEE. Contrariwise!

DUM. You’ve begun wrong. The first thing in a visit is to say “How d’ye do” and shake hands.

They shake hands with each other and then each give a hand to her. Then the music of “Here we go round the mulberry bush” commences, and all sing and dance round.