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No. 12 - Song - Duke and Guards - "Do not hesitate to shoot."
| Duke: | In these days of deadly danger Any monarch has to fear If he finds a doubtful stranger Inconveniently near; So I mean to be protected By the marks-men of my guards, Who can pot a man suspected, |
| Guards: | Who can pot a man suspected! |
| Duke: | At about four hundred yards! Do not hesitate to shoot. |
| Guards: | Do not hesitate to shoot! |
| Duke: | If he's carrying a cocoanut or other massive fruit! For it may be full of dynamite, or possibly may not, You can see when he is shot, |
| Guards: | We'll see when he is shot! |
| Duke: | And the one who gets him first Is made a sergeant on the spot! |
| Guards: | So of course he should be shot, |
| Duke (spoken): | Shot! |
| Duke: | If I do the Franco-British With a girl, and sup with her, And you see me getting skittish At about the third liqueur-- If forgetting all my troubles, At a game of Bridge I am, And my neighbour promptly doubles, |
| Guards: | Yes, your neighbour promptly doubles, |
| Duke: | And proceeds to score a slam! Do not hesitate to shoot. |
| Guards: | Do not hesitate to shoot! |
| Duke: | If my partner starts revoking when he ought to follow suit, He may say he wasn't very sure if hearts were trumps or what, But I want to have him shot, |
| Guards: | You want to have him shot! |
| Duke: | When he makes the first hand spade and all the aces I have got, |
| Guards: | Then of course he should be shot, |
| Duke (spoken): | Shot! |
| Duke: | If a girl with an umbrella That she holds extremely high Makes me dance a tarantella When she jabs me in the eye, When I'm rushing for a ticket And my train is overdue There's a woman at the wicket, |
| Guards: | There's a woman at the wicket! |
| Duke: | Who is holding up the queue! Do not hesitate to shoot. |
| Guards: | Do not hesitate to shoot. |
| Duke: | When she asks the way to Paris by the Inner Circle route! And a shilling's worth of coppers she has spilt about the spot, Then I think she should be shot, |
| Guards: | We think she should be shot! |
| Duke: | When she comes back to the window for a farthing she forgot, |
| Guards: | Then of course she should be shot, |
| Duke (spoken): | Shot! |
| Duke: | When a singer on a platform Starts a song in Melisande, You should perforate his fat form With a volley close at hand! If at operas by Gounod I observe some people near Humming all the tunes they do know, |
| Guards: | Humming all the tunes they do know, |
| Duke: | By a most imperfect ear! Do not hesitate to shoot. |
| Guards: | Do not hesitate to shoot. |
| Duke: | At the opera, a musician with a solo on the flute! Don't allow another twiddle, dot his crotchet on the spot, Score his bass with treble shot, |
| Guards: | His bass with treble shot! |
| Duke: | Hit him through the intermezzo with a dum-dum piping hot! |
| Guards: | So of course he should be shot, |
| Duke (spoken): | Shot! |
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Page modified 13 October 2016