No. 15: DUET. — HAROLD and BLANCA.

MIDI file Karaoke file

HAROLD.

There once was a corporal bold —

BLANCA.

Yes — gawky, round-shouldered, and lean —

HAROLD.

No, very good-looking with plenty of dash, In battle courageous, hot-headed, and rash, With a small but extremely becoming moustache —

BLANCA.

Ah! it isn’t the one that I mean.

HAROLD (speaks). Now it’s your turn.

BLANCA.

There was once a Vivandière —

HAROLD.

Old, Short, stumpy, red-headed, and vain —

BLANCA.

Not at all — very young with no sort of defect, Exceedingly lovely and highly correct.

HAROLD.

Oh, don’t make her pretty — these girls, recollect, Are always remarkably plain!

BLANCA. (speaking). Rather rude, isn’t it? HAROLD. Not a bit. True to life — that’s all. Now we must have an incident. BLANCA. Suppose we make her — (Whispers.). HAROLD. No — Mudie wouldn’t take it. No, I don’t think that would do. Stop, I have an idea for a sensational incident of a striking and dramatic character.

The Regent one morning, by chance, Observing the Corporal, said — “It would be nothing short of a public disgrace To keep such a trump in a Corporal’s place — So we’ll make him a Colonel, all covered with lace.”

BLANCA (confidentially to audience).

  The Regent was weak in the head!

HAROLD.

She, taking the facts at a glance, To his bosom unblushingly flew —

BLANCA.

And he was so deeply in love, I declare, That he married her then, and he married her there —

BOTH.

So it ends with a wedding at Hanover Square, And a three volume novel should do! Exeunt together