No. 17: PATTER-TRIO. — GRIFFENFELD, NANNA, and THORA

MIDI file Karaoke file

GRIFFENFELD.

When a gentleman supposes that he comfortably dozes on a pleasant bed of roses (which are singularly rare) —

NANNA.

And discovers that it bristles with uncomfortable thistles, in intemperate epistles his annoyance he’ll declare —

THORA.

When a man his temper loses his remarks he never chooses, but expressive language uses, with a tendency to swear —

GRIFFENFELD.

And when lovers are discarded their upbraiding will be larded with some epithets unguarded — you had better not be there!

NANNA (disappointed).

We had better not be there?

THORA (disappointed).

We had better not be there?

GRIFFENFELD (decidedly).

You had better not be there!

ALL.

We/You had better not be there!

NANNA and THORA.

  When these gentlemen conceited both discover they’ve been cheated, all our fun will be defeated — that’s a thing we couldn’t bear — So, however you may rave it, we’ll unquestionably brave it; you may take your affidavit we will certainly be there!

ALL.

We/They will certainly be there — We/They will certainly be there! — Though you/I flout it, never doubt it, we/they will certainly be there!

GRIFFENFELD.

Their despair and their distraction and their keen dissatisfaction — their exaggerated action, and the tearing of their hair —

NANNA.

Their disgust and desperation when they see the situation some congenial occupation for the lawyers will prepare —

THORA.

We shall find their loud abusing both intrusive and amusing, and of violent accusing there’ll be symptoms in the air —

GRIFFENFELD.

And their libellous expressions and their angry indiscretions will be tried at Quarter Sessions, when I occupy the chair!

NANNA (gleefully).

When you occupy the chair —

THORA (gleefully).

When you occupy the chair —

ALL.

When/I you occupy the chair —

GRIFFENFELD.

When the case is quite completed, then the prisoner defeated with severity is treated as you’re probably aware — For it’s awfully provided that the jury will be guided by my summary one-sided — which distresses Labouchere.

ALL.

It is rough on Labouchere — It is hard on Labouchere — Oh, the dickens, how it sickens tender-hearted Labouchere!

Exit GRIFFENFELD