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Woodpecker. St! st! st! Suppose I apologize.
Maguire. Then it's on again.
Woodpecker. Then I apologize.
Maguire. (joyfully). It's on again! (To FOODLE, who is embracing MARIA.) Foodle, my boy, it's on again!
Foodle (releasing her). Oh, Maria! (MARIA reverts to WOODPECKER.)
| Chorus. | ||
| Ring, ye joybells, long and loudly, | ||
| Happy hearts together tied — | ||
Maria. Oh! (screams).
Maguire. What's the matter!
Maria. Oh, something's pricking me!
Woodpecker. A pin? Allow me (proceeds to remove it).
Maguire. (stopping him). How dare you, sir?
Maria. How dare you?
All. For shame!
Maguire. Foodle, remove the pin! (FOODLE crosses to MARIA and removes the pin, kisses
it, and pricks his lip accidentally.) They were brought up together (addressing
WOODPECKER, who is furious). Now then, are we all ready? Then away we go!
Music commences "Haste to the Wedding," the guests are dancing off. []
Woodpecker. Stop! (music and guests stop short — aside). I must find some excuse to stop at the milliner's — what shall I say? I can't tell them I've got to stop and buy a hat for one lady on my way to be married to another.
Maguire. (who has been standing on one leg in the exact attitude in which he was stopped). Nearly finished your soliloquy, Woodpecker?
Woodpecker (aside). Ha, I know! (Aloud). Hullo! It's very awkward – I've lost the licence!
Maguire. What!
All. Lost the licence!
Maguire. It's off! Another instance of insulting neglect! It's off! Foodle shall have her!
(Hands her to FOODLE.)
Foodle (embracing her). Maria!
| Chorus. | ||
| Ring, ye joybells, long and loudly, | ||
| Happy hearts together tied — | ||
Woodpecker. Stop! Don't be absurd – it's easily rectified. We must call at Doctor's Commons
on the way to the church, and get another. You can remain below in the cabs
while I apply for it. (Aside.) They're all country people, and don't know the
difference between Doctor's Commons and a milliner's shop! (Aloud.) Will that
do?
Maguire. It's on again! It's on again! (To FOODLE, who is embracing MARIA.) Foodle,
my boy, it's on again!
| Chorus. | ||
| Ring, ye joybells, long and loudly, | ||
| Happy hearts together tied — | ||
| Bridegroom's breast is swelling proudly | ||
| As he takes his blushing bride, | ||
| Blushing bride, | ||
| Blushing, blushing | ||
| Blushing, ever blushing bride! | ||
Maguire. Will you stop that? Foodle, take the bride – pair off and away we go!
Music. "Haste to the Wedding." All dance off, WOODPECKER last. []
Woodpecker. (over music.) If ever I get married again, it shall be into a family without a Foodle!
Exit after the others.
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Page modified 21 June 2010