Toto. There, now you’re cross again.

Doro. Cross? I should think so, to leave me as you did, with a set of strangers. I’ll never forgive you, never – never –

Toto. Why, you promised you would never refer to it again!

Doro. I promised you that?

Toto. Certainly! Now, do drop the subject, and don’t refer to it again.

Doro. Well, you’re the coolest young lady I’ve met for some time.

Toto. (coaxingly.) Now, Barberini –

Doro. Barberini? I beg to inform you that my name is Doro.

Toto. Doro, is it? Then why did you tell me your name was Barberini?

Doro. I never told you so.

Toto. Then I’m mixing you up with someone else.

Doro. I object to that process.

Toto. There is a brigand, Barberini, isn’t there?

Doro. There is just now, but if you mix him up with me, there won’t be a brigand Barberini very long.

Toto. I’ll try and keep you distinct, but it’s very confusing. Let me see, you wear that (tying a handkerchief round his arm) and then I shall know you.

Doro. It shall never quit me while I have life. (Kisses her.)

Enter CARAMEL, who comes down to the place DORO occupied.

Toto. (speaking to CARAMEL.) Why, you’ve taken it off already. Oh, you men, there’s no trusting you.

Caramel. I don’t think I quite understand.

Doro. Now you’re mixing us up again.

Toto. True. Caramel, get away, you’re a dream

Caramel. A dream!

Toto. A hideous dream.

Doro. A nightmare.

Caramel. But –

Toto. Go away, I tell you. Don’t come near me. If you speak another word I’ll wake, and then where will you be?

Caramel. False, fickle, perjured girl! I renounce you for ever! There is one lowlier in station, but lovelier in personal appearance, who tended me during the protracted agonies of the voyage, and to whom my heart will ever turn with sympathetic yearnings. I go to her. (Exit.)

Re-enter the KING, one half of his face is quite white;
he keeps the painted side towards TOTO.

King. The crisis is at hand. The rain came as I was sleeping sweetly in the prickly cactus, and I forgot to bring the walnut-juice with me.

Enter CARAMEL and JELLY. They come down to the white side of the KING.

Jelly. Why, that’s never your Majesty?

Toto. Jelly! My dear Jelly, I am delighted to see you. Let me introduce you to our Ruler.

Jelly. Bless you, I’ve known his Majesty since I was born!

Caramel. If you please, I had the honour of being betrothed to the Princess, but finding that she loves somebody else –

Jelly. Why, he’s going to marry me!

Toto. Why, Jelly, you’re never going to marry that! Why, he’s a dream!

Re-enter JAMILEK, ZAPETER and COURT.

King. Zapeter, how is this? You have removed your complexions! This is indelicate.

Zapeter. Sire, it is no use! The last shower was too much for us, and there is no colouring matter on the island.

Toto. (sees KING’s full face.) Why, what in the world have you been doing to yourself? Surely this side of your face is familiar to me?

King. I am your poor father who practised deception on you to bring you back to his arms.

Toto. My father. (Is about to embrace him, but shrinks from the painted side of his face.) No, the other side, please!

King. And you forgive me?

Toto. I have been very wilful and perverse and wayward; and now that I have a husband to look after me, I won’t give you anymore trouble, as he will always be at hand to pull me up whenever I attempt to act on the spur of the moment.

Page modified 13 January 2010