Both A and B rehearsal slight –
They say they’ll be “all right at night”
(They’ve both to go to school yet);
C in each act must change her dress,
D will attempt to “square the press”;
E won’t play Romeo unless
His grandmother plays Juliet;
F claims all hoydens as her rights
(She’s played them thirty seasons);
And G must show herself in tights
For two convincing reasons –
Two very well-shaped reasons!

Oh, the man who can drive a theatrical team,
With wheelers and leaders in order supreme,
Can govern and rule, with a wave of his fin,
All Europe – with Ireland thrown in!