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Finale Act I
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 KARAOKE
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Enter Bunthorne, crowned with roses and hung about with garlands, and looking very miserable. He is led by Angela and Saphir (each of whom holds an end of the rose-garland by which he is bound), and accompanied by procession of Maidens. They are dancing classically, and playing on cymbals, double pipes, and other archaic instruments.
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Maidens. Let the merry cymbals sound, Ev'ry heart with hope is beating, Let the merry cymbals sound, |
Enter Dragoons, led by Colonel, Major and Duke.
They are surprised at proceedings.
Dragoons Now tell us, we pray you, Now tell us, we pray you, |
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| Duke. |
| Of rite sacrificial, By sentence judicial, This seems the initial, Then why don't you run? |
| Colonel. |
| They cannot have led you To hang or behead you, Nor may they all wed you, Unfortunate one! |
| Dragoons. |
| Then tell us, we pray you, Why thus they array you — Oh, poet, how say you — What is it you've done? |
Enter Solicitor.
Bunthorne. Heart-broken at my Patience's barbarity, Maidens. By the advice of his solicitor, Dragoons. Oh, horror! urged by his solicitor, |
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| Maidens. |
| Oh, heaven's blessing on his solicitor! |
| Dragoons. |
| A hideous curse on his solicitor! |
| Maidens. |
| Oh, heaven's blessing on his solicitor! |
| Dragoons. |
| A hideous curse on his solicitor! |
| Maidens. |
| A blessing |
| Dragoons. |
| A curse, a curse |
| Maidens & Dragoons. |
| on his solicitor! |
The Solicitor, horrified at the Dragoons' curse, rushes off.
| Colonel. |
| Stay, we implore you, Before our hopes are blighted; You see before you The men to whom you're plighted! |
| Dragoons. |
| Stay, we implore you, For we adore you; To us you're plighted To be united — Stay, we implore you, we implore you! |
Duke.
Your maiden hearts, ah, do not steel
To pity's eloquent appeal, Such conduct British soldiers feel. (Aside to Dragoons) Sigh, sigh, all sigh! (They all sigh.) To foeman's steel we rarely see
A British soldier bend the knee, Yet, one and all, they kneel to ye — (Aside to Dragoons) Kneel, kneel, all kneel! (They all kneel.) Our soldiers very seldom cry,
And yet — I need not tell you why — A tear-drop dews each martial eye! (Aside to Dragoons.) Weep, weep, all weep! (They all weep.) |
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| Duke. | Maidens. | Dragoons. |
| Our soldiers very seldom cry, And yet — they need not tell us why — |
We soldiers very seldom cry, And yet — we need not tell you why — |
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| A tear-drop dews each
martial eye! Weep, weep, all weep! |
A tear-drop dews each
eye! Weep, weep, all weep! |
A tear-drop dews each eye! Weep, weep, all weep! |
| Bunthorne. (who has been impatient during this appeal.) |
| Come, walk up, and purchase with avidity, Overcome your diffidence and natural timidity, Tickets for the raffle should be purchased with avidity, Put in half a guinea and a husband you may gain — Such a judge of blue-and-white and other kinds of pottery — From early Oriental down to modern terra-cottary — Put in half a guinea — you may draw him in a lottery — Such an opportunity may not occur again. |
| Maidens. |
| Such a judge of blue-and-white and other kinds of
pottery — From early Oriental down to modern terra cottary — Put in half a guinea — you may draw him in a lottery — Such an opportunity may not occur again. |
Maidens crowd up to purchase tickets. Dragoons dance in single
file round stage, to express their indifference.
| Dragoons. |
| We've been thrown over, we're aware But we don't care — but we don't care! There's fish in the sea, no doubt of it, As good as ever came out of it, And some day we shall get our share, So we don't care — so we don't care! |
During this Maidens have been buying tickets. At last Jane presents herself. Bunthorne looks at her with aversion.
| Bunthorne. |
| And are you going a ticket for to buy? |
| Jane. (surprised) |
| Most certainly I am; why shouldn't I? |
| Bunthorne. (aside) |
| Oh, Fortune, this is hard! (aloud) Blindfold your eyes; Two minutes will decide who wins the prize! |
Maidens blindfold themselves.
| Maidens. | |
| Oh, Fortune, to my aching heart be kind; Like us, thou art blindfolded, but not blind! Just raise your bandage, thus, (Each uncovers one eye.) that you may see, And give the prize, and give the prize to me! (They cover their eyes again.) |
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| Bunthorne. |
| Come, Lady Jane, I pray you draw the first! |
| Jane. (joyfully) |
| He loves me best! |
| Bunthorne. (aside) |
| I want to know the worst! |
Jane puts her hand in bag to draw ticket. Patience enters and prevents her doing so.
| Patience. |
| Hold! Stay your hand! |
| All. (uncovering their eyes) |
| What means this interference? Of this bold girl I pray you make a clearance! |
| Jane. |
| Away with you, away with you, and to your milk-pails go! |
| Bunthorne. (suddenly) |
| She wants a ticket! Take a dozen! |
| Patience. (kneeling to Bunthorne) |
| No! If there be pardon in your breast For this poor penitent, Who with remorseful thought opprest, Sincerely doth repent; If you, with one so lowly, still Desire to be allied, Then you may take me, if you will, For I will be your bride! |
| Chorus. |
| Oh, shameless one! Oh, bold-faced thing! Away you run — Go, take your wing, Oh, shameless one! Oh, bold-faced thing! Away you run — Go, take your wing, You shameless one! You bold-faced thing! |
| Bunthorne. |
| How strong is love! For many and many a week, She's loved me fondly, and has feared to speak But Nature, for restraint too mighty far, Has burst the bonds of Art — and here we are! |
| Patience. |
| No, Mister Bunthorne, no — you're wrong again; Permit me — I'll endeavour to explain! |
| Patience. | True love must single-hearted be — | |
| Bunthorne. | Exactly so! | |
| Patience. | From ev'ry selfish fancy free — | |
| Bunthorne. | Exactly so! | |
| Patience. | No idle thought of gain or joy A maiden's fancy should employ — True love must be without alloy, True love must be without alloy. |
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| Dragoons. | Exactly so! | |
| Patience. | Imposture to contempt must lead — | |
| Colonel. | Exactly so! | |
| Blind vanity's dissension's seed — | ||
| Major. | Exactly so! | |
| Patience. | It follows, then, a maiden who |
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| Dragoons. | Exactly so! | |
| Saphir. |
| Are you resolved to wed this shameless one? |
| Angela. |
| Is there no chance for any other? |
| Bunthorne. (decisively) |
| None! (Embraces Patience.) |
Exit Patience and Bunthorne. Angela, Saphir, and Ela take
Colonel, Duke, and Major down, while Maidens gaze fondly at
other Officers.
SEXTET
| Ella, Saphir, Angela, Duke, Major & Colonel. |
| I hear the soft note of the echoing voice Of an old, old love, long dead — It whispers my sorrowing heart "rejoice" — For the last sad tear is shed — The pain that is all but a pleasure will change For the pleasure that's all but pain, And never, oh never, this heart will range From that old, old love again! |
Maidens embrace Officers.
| All. |
| Yes, the pain that is all but a pleasure will change For the pleasure that's all but pain, And never, oh never, our hearts will range From that old, old love again! |
| Duke. | Chorus. |
| Oh never, | Oh never, oh never our hearts, |
| Oh never, | our hearts will range |
| our hearts will range, | From that old, old love again. |
| Principals. | Chorus. |
| Oh never, | Oh never, oh never our hearts, |
| Oh never our hearts will range | Oh never our hearts will range |
| From that old, old love again! | From that old, old love again! |
The Maidens embrace the Officers.
Enter Patience and
Bunthorne.
As the Dragoons and Maidens are embracing, enter Grosvenor, reading. He takes no notice of them, but comes
slowly down, still reading. The Maidens are all strangely
fascinated by him. and gradually withdraw from Dragoons.
| Angela. |
| But who is this, whose god-like grace Proclaims he comes of noble race? And who is this, whose manly face Bears sorrow's interesting trace? |
| Chorus. |
| Yes, who is this, whose god-like grace Proclaims he comes of noble race? |
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Grosvenor.
I am a broken-hearted troubadour,
Whose mind's aesthetic and whose tastes are pure! Angela. Aesthetic! He is aesthetic!
Grosvenor.
Yes, yes — I am aesthetic
And poetic! Maidens.
Then, we love you!
The Maidens leave Dragoons and group, kneeling, round Grosvenor.
Fury of Bunthorne, who recognizes a rival. Dragoons.
They love him! Horror!
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| Patience & Bunthorne. |
| They love him! Horror! |
| Grosvenor. |
| They love me! Horror! Horror! Horror! |
| Patience. | Ella, Saphir, Angela, Jane & Duke. |
Maidens. | Dragoons. |
| List, Reginald, while I confess | Oh, list while we a love confess | Oh, list while we a | Oh, list while they a |
| A love that's all unselfishness, | That words imperfectly express, | love confess | love confess |
| That it's unselfish, goodness knows, | Those shell-like ears, ah, do not close | Those shell-like ears, ah, do not close | Those shell-like ears, he, does not close |
| You won't dispute it I suppose!. | To blighted love's distracting woes! | To blighted love's distracting woes! | To their recital of their woes! |
| Grosvenor. | Bunthorne, Major & Colonel. |
Maidens. | Dragoons. |
| Again my cursed comliness | My jealousy I can't express, | Yes, those shell-like ears, ah, do not close | Yes, those shell-like ears, he does not close |
| Spreads hopeless anguish and distress, | Their love they openly confess! | To blighted love's distracting woes! | To their recital of their woes! |
| Spreads hopeless anguish and distress, distress! | Their love they openly confess, confess! | To blighted love's distracting woes, its woes! | To their recital of their woes, their woes! |
| Patience. | Grosvenor. | Maidens. | Bunthorne & Dragoons. |
| Ah! | Again my cursed comliness | Oh, list while we our love confess | My jealousy I can't express, |
| Spreads hopeless anguish and distress; | That words imperfectly express. | Their love they openly confess! | |
| And I shall love you, I shall love. | Thine ears, oh Fortune, do not close | Tose shell-like ears, ah, do not close | His shell-like ears he does not close |
| Your ears, ah, do not close! | To loves distracting woes! | To loves distracting woes! | To love's distracting woes! |
| Patience & Maidens. | Grosvenor. | Duke & Bunthorne. | Dragoons. |
| Thy shell-like ears, | My shell-like ears | His shell-like ears | Now is not this ridiculous, |
| ah, do not close | I cannot close | he does not close | and is not this preposterous, |
| To blighted love's distracting woes! | To blighted love's distracting woes! | To blighted love's distracting woes! | A thoro'-pac'd absurdity, explain it if you can! |
| Thy shell-like ears, | My shell-like ears | His shell-like ears | Now is not this ridiculous, |
| ah, do not close | I cannot close | he does not close | and is not this preposterous, |
| To blighted love's distracting woes! | To blighted love's distracting woes! | To blighted love's distracting woes! | A thoro'-pac'd absurdity, explain it if you can! |
| To love's, to loves distracting woes! | To love's, to loves distracting woes! | To love's, to loves distracting woes! | Explain, explain it if you can, |
| love's woes! | love's woes! | love's woes! | you can. |
End of Act I
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Page Created 21 May, 2007