SCENE:- A room, decently furnished; at C. a bed with curtains closed; at L. C. a door; at 3 E. L. a door; at 2 E. L. a chest of drawers; at back, R. a window; at 3 E. R. a door; at 2 E. R. a fireplace, with mantelpiece; table and chairs, a few common ornaments on a chimney piece.

COX, dressed, with the exception of his coat, is looking at himself in a small looking-glass, which he holds in his hand.

Cox. I’ve half a mind to register an oath that I’ll never have my hair cut again! (his hair is very short) And I was particularly emphatic in my instructions to the hair dresser only to cut the ends off. He must have thought I meant the other ends! Never mind, I shan’t meet anybody to care about so early. Eight o’clock, I declare I haven’t a moment to lose. Fate has placed me with the most punctual, particular, and peremptory of hatters, and I must fulfil my destiny. (knock at L. C. D.) Open locks, whoever knocks!

Enter SERGEANT BOUNCER.

Bouncer. Good morning, Colonel Cox. I hope you slept comfortably, Colonel.

Cox. I can't say I did, Bouncer. I should feel obliged to you, if you could accommodate me with a more protuberant bolster, Bouncer. The one I’ve got now seems to me to have about a handful and a half of feathers at each end, and nothing whatever in the middle.

Bouncer. Anything to accommodate you, Captain Cox.

Cox. Thank you. Then perhaps you'll be good enough to hold this glass, while I finish my toilet.

Bouncer. Certainly. (Holding glass before COX, who ties his cravat.) Why, I do declare, you've had your hair cut!

Cox. Cut! It strikes me I’ve had it mowed! It’s very kind of you to mention it, but I’m sufficiently conscious of the absurdity of my personal appearance already. I look as if I’ve been cropped for the Militia -

Bouncer. The Militia! - I recollect when I was in the Militia. Cox. Ah! now he’s off on his hobby. (exit)

Bouncer. Yes, we were mounted on chargers. I recollect upon one occasion, being seated firmly in the saddle for eight hours, and I don’t recollect being able to sit down again firmly for a considerable period afterwards.