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Cox. I bought a mutton chop., so I shan't want any dinner. (Puts chop on table.) Good gracious! I've forgot the bread. Hallo! What's this? a roll, I declare. Come, that's lucky! Now then to light the fire. Holloa - (seeing the lucifer box on table) - who presumes to touch my box of lucifers? Why, it's empty! I left one in it - I take my oath I did. Heyday! why, the fire is lighted! Where's the gridiron? On the fire, I declare. And what's that on it? Bacon? Bacon it is! Well, now, 'pon my life, there is a quiet coolness about Bouncer's proceedings that's almost amusing. He takes my last lucifer - my coals - and my gridiron, to cook his breakfast by! No, no - I can't stand this! Come out of that! Pokes fork into bacon, and puts it on a plate on the table, then places his chop on the gridiron, which he puts on the fire. |
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Cox. Now then, for my breakfast things.
Taking key hung up L., opens door L., and goes out, slamming the door after him, with a loud noise.
Box. (suddenly showing his head from behind curtains) Come in! If it's you, Bouncer - you needn't be afraid. I wonder how long I've been asleep! (Suddenly recollecting) Goodness gracious! - my bacon! (leaps off bed and runs to the fireplace.) Holloa, what's this? A chop? Whose chop? Bouncer's, I'll be bound. He thought to cook his breakfast while I was asleep - with my coals too - and my gridiron. But where's my bacon? Seeing it on table.) Here it is! Well, 'pon my life, Bouncer's going it! And shall I curb my indignation? Shall I falter in my vengeance? No! (Digs the fork into the chop and throws chop out - shuts window again.)
Voice Outside. What do you think you're doing up there?
Box. I'm sorry, sir, it was an accident. So much for Bouncer's breakfast, and now for my own! (With fork he puts the bacon on the gridiron again.) I may as well lay my breakfast things. (Goes to mantle-piece at R., takes key out of one of the ornaments, opens door R., and exits, slamming door after him.)
Cox. (Putting his head in quickly at L. D.) Come in - come in! (Opens door and enters with a small tray, on which are tea-things, &c., which he places on drawers, L., and suddenly recollects.) Oh! goodness! My chop! (running to fire-place) Holloa! - What's this? The bacon again! Oh, pooh! Zounds - confound it - dash it - damn it - I can't stand this! (Pokes fork into bacon, opens window, and flings it out.)
Voice Outside. That's that second time you've done that.
Cox. You'll excuse me, sir, that is not the second time I've done that.
He returns to drawers for tea things, and encounters BOX coming from his cupboard with his tea things - they come down C. of stage together.
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