His Excellency Web Opera

No. 13: Opening Chorus

SCENE: The Castle Court-yard. ERLING, TORTENSSEN, SYNDIC, DAME CORTLANDT, CHRISTINA, and Chorus of men and girls discovered. A sentry is mounting guard on the castle gate.

OPENING CHORUS.

With anger stern And fierce determination, We wait to learn The fate of our appeal. To Regent just We’ve given information, And this, we trust, The tyrant’s doom will seal.

ERLING.

The mite of a man who’ll plot and plan To ruin us all for his delight —

TORTENSSEN.

The mannikin ape in human shape —

DAME.

This tuppeny ha’penny lump of spite!

ALL.

This tuppeny ha’penny, tuppeny ha’penny, Tuppeny ha’penny lump of spite!

CHRISTINA comes forward.

RECITATIVE — CHRISTINA.

Be comforted — his downfall I foresee, All who exceed the bounds of strict simplicity, And, yielding to a taste for eccentricity, Fly in the face of orthodox morality, Must dearly pay for their originality — You know the story of the wilful bee?

ALL (furiously).

We don’t! We never heard it!

ERLING.

Who was he?

SONG — CHRISTINA (guitar accompaniment).

A hive of bees, as I’ve heard say, Said to their Queen one sultry day — “Please, your Majesty’s high position, The hive is full and the weather is warm, We rather think, with due submission, The time has come when we ought to swarm?” Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Outspake their Queen, and thus spake she — “This is a matter that rests with me, Who dares opinion thus to form? I’ll tell you when it is time to swarm!” Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Her Majesty wore an angry frown, In fact Her Majesty’s foot was down — Her Majesty sulked — declined to sup — In short Her Majesty’s back was up. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, Her foot was down and her back was up! The hive contained one obstinate bee (His name was Peter), and thus spake he — “Though every bee has shown white feather, To bow to fashion I am not prone — Why should a hive swarm all together? Surely a bee can swarm alone?” Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Upside down and inside out, Backwards forwards round about, Twirling here and twisting there, Topsy turvily everywhere — Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Pitiful sight it was to see Respectable elderly high-class bee, Who kicked the beam at sixteen stone, Trying his best to swarm alone! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, Trying his best to swarm alone! The hive were shocked to see their chum (A strict teetotaller) teetotum — The Queen exclaimed, “How terrible, very! It’s perfectly clear to all the throng Peter’s been at the old brown sherry. Old brown sherry is much too strong — Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Of all who thus themselves degrade A stern example must be made, To Coventry go, you tipsy bee!” So off to Coventry town went he. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. There, classed with all who misbehave, Both plausible rogue and noisome knave, In dismal dumps he lived to own The folly of trying to swarm alone! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. All came of trying to swarm alone.

ALL.

All came of trying, etc.

Enter SYNDIC from Castle.

ALL.

Well, well — what news? Does he refuse Our rightful dues? What news — what news?

SYNDIC.

Good news! the Regent, whom we all revere, Will read the neatly drawn appeal (I drew it!) Without an hour’s delay he’ll meet you here, And if we prove our case the Governor’ll rue it!

ALL.

Hurrah!

SYNDIC.

If these our charges home we bring, He swears the Governor’s neck he’ll wring: And when he says he’ll do a thing, He’ll do it!

ALL.

Hurrah! The sorrows that damped our lives are past, And happily all will end at last. As soon as the audience has been held, Good-bye to the Governor Griffenfeld!

MEN.

Good-bye!

GIRLS.

Good-bye!

MEN.

Good-bye!

GIRLS.

Good-bye!

ALL.

Good-bye to the Governor Griffenfeld!

Enter NANNA and THORA. They come forward humbly.

ERLING and TORTENSSEN (recit.)

Ah, false one!

THORA.

With humbled head — in desperation dire — I tidings bring from my repentant sire. He much regrets his foolish whim.

NANNA.

And hopes you’ll intercede for him; For though his gore at retractation rises, He’s very sorry — and apologizes,

THORA.

He can’t say more —

BOTH.

He’s very sorry — and apologizes!

ERLING and TORTENSSEN.

Be comforted — I can’t resist that tear! At once I’ll seek our Sovereign Prince’s ear, And tell him — though our future you destroy it — I don’t mind ruination — I enjoy it! Enter GRIFFENFELD from Castle.

GRIFFENFELD (humbly).

Complying with the popular request, So prettily expressed —

SYNDIC (aside).

I drew it!

GRIFFENFELD.

The Regent comes — forgive our little plot — Our penitence, do not Pooh-pooh it!

NANNA.

If still to press your grievance you agree, Then I feel certain we Shall rue it!

THORA.

So please withdraw, as we are penitent, That well-worn document.

SYNDIC (aside).

I drew it!

ALL.

No, no; no mercy shall we show — Away with you, you plead in vain. No word of ours shall stop the blow; Your prayer we will not entertain! Flourish. Enter REGENT.

PRINCIPALS and CHORUS.

Hail, O Regent Prince! Coming to requite us! Matters not to mince, You will nobly right us. Your disgust evince — Make the tyrant wince — Hail, O Sovereign Prince, Whose decrees delight us!

RECITATIVE — REGENT.

I’ve read your dutiful memorial: If any others for reprisals call, Or, suffering grievance, wish me to abate it, This is your opportunity to state it.

HAROLD (recit.).

May it please your Highness!

AIR.

HAROLD.

Though we’re eager for to sally In the doughty field of Mars —

SOLDIERS.

May it please your Royal Highness!

HAROLD.

And encounter, generally, Any quantity of scars —

SOLDIERS.

May it please your Royal Highness!

HAROLD.

Yet for mischief, principally, He has turned us into ballet, And we feel it personally — It is rough on brave Hussars!

REGENT.

Yes, it’s rough on brave Hussars!

ALL.

Yes, you’re right, your Royal Highness, it is rough on brave Hussars!

HAROLD.

If we urge, in accents courtly, That it wounds our proper pride —

SOLDIERS.

May it please your Royal Highness!

HAROLD.

Why, he answers us retortly, And for mutiny we’re tried —

SOLDIERS.

May it please your Royal Highness!

HAROLD.

We are soldiers grave and portly, And it aggravates us mort’lly, For, to put the matter shortly, Well, it is not dignified!

ALL.

No, it isn’t dignified!

REGENT.

No, it isn’t dignified!

ALL.

Look at this, your Royal Highness — it is far from dignified!

BALLET OF HUSSARS.

SONG — REGENT.

My people, who’ve submitted to the Governor’s absurdities, I sympathize most heartily with every word you say; His Excellency’s conduct is too bad — upon my word it is — But all his wrongs I’ll rectify without undue delay. On Erling, who has suffered from his mischievous malignity, We shed the sunny summer of our Sovereign benignity, And ratify all promises of dollars and of dignity: So consequently Nanna will be his this very day.

ALL.

So consequently Nanna will be his this very day.

ENSEMBLE.

REGENT (aside to GRIF.).	GRIF. (aside to REGENT).	ERLING (aside).
Your orders I am trying to obey,	My orders you implicitly obey,	Oh, Nanna will mine this very day.
I hope I don’t exceed in any way;	Proceed with perfect certainty you may;	And all my sorrows hide themselves away;
For so nobly you array me,	Now unmercifully flay me,	For the trick he dared to play me
So magnificently pay me,	And with punishment dismay me,	It will handsomely repay me,
That your orders I am anxious to obey.	Or my orders you will surely disobey.	If Miss Nanna will be mine this very day.

NANNA (aside).	THORA, OTHER PRINCIPALS and CHORUS.
It’s unfortunate that this is all in play.	Oh, Nanna will be his this very day,
I shouldn’t like to marry him to-day;	And all his sorrows hide themselves away;
It would terrible dismay be,	I will handsomely array me
If he really came to claim me,	In my very best to play me,
It is lucky that it’s only said in play.	For Miss Nanna will be his this very day!

REGENT.

You, Tortenssen, — who Griffenfeld with impudent audacity Appointed our Physician — why, that gift is ratified With promised rank of Baron — in that dignified capacity He’s warranted in claiming pretty Thora as his bride. And Harold, gallant Corporal, whom with spite oppressional, Was made to twist and turn about like ballet-girl professional, Dispensing with the many intermediate steps progressional, A Colonel he’s created at one mighty giant stride!

ALL.

A Colonel he’s created at one mighty giant stride!

ENSEMBLE.

REGENT (aside to GRIF.).	GRIF. (aside to REGENT).	HAROLD and TORTENSSEN.
I trust your Excellency’s satisfied,	So far, my Excellency’s satisfied,	Upon my word, I’m truly gratified,
To carry out your wishes I have tried —	To carry out my wishes you have tried;	To justify your choice will be my pride;
If I haven’t acted rightly	When you fail to do it rightly	For I think you’ve chosen rightly,
You will mention it politely,	I will mention it politely,	And I thank you most politely,
But I trust your Excellency’s satisfied.	But, so far, my Excellency’s satisfied.	For upon my word, I’m truly gratified.

THORA (aside).	OTHER PRINCIPALS and CHORUS.
If he thinks that I intend to be his bride,	Upon my word, we’re truly gratified,
He’ll find it a mistake unqualified,	To justify your choice will be their pride;
If I know my feelings rightly,	For we think you’ve chosen rightly,
I will thank him most politely,	And we thank you most politely,
And decline, on any terms, to be his bride.	For upon my word, we’re truly gratified.

REGENT.

And now for Governor Griffenfeld — we highly to extol you meant, But, finding you’re addicted to discreditable pranks, We strip you of your dignity, position, and emolument, And name Mats Munck as Governor — we don’t want any thanks. And, as in these proceedings we are banded all in unity, I think we couldn’t find a more convenient opportunity Of proving that imposture can’t be practised with impunity. (to GRIFFENFELD). For all your impositions you’re degraded in the ranks!

ALL.

For all your impositions you’re degraded in the ranks!

ENSEMBLE.

REGENT (aside to GRIF.).	GRIF. (aside to REGENT).	SYNDIC.
I think I’ve done exactly as you said,	You’ve done it pretty nearly as I’ve said,	Now really this is like to turn my head,
I’m sure I hope I haven’t been misled;	If you hadn’t you’d have sacrificed your head.	For I’m to rule as Governor instead!
When I receive my payment	You shall now receive your payment,	When I get my quarter’s payment,
I’ll surrender all this raiment,	So take off that handsome raiment,	I’ll buy all his left-off raiment,
And resume my old habiliments instead.	And resume your old habiliments instead.	And it’s possible Dame Cortlandt I may wed.

NANNA and THORA (aside to each other).	CHORUS and OTHER PRINCIPALS.
Did you hear what that audacious fellow said?	Assuredly there’s nothing to be said,
My goodness, how exceedingly ill-bred!	He’s lucky in escaping with his head!
Let us give this man his payment,	He loses all his payment,
Then he’ll doff his splendid raiment,	And his most expensive raiment,
And resume his old habiliments instead.	And he’ll take his turn at sentry-go instead!

REGENT.

Now all you men and maidens true, Who troth have duly plighted — (I understand you’re not a few) Your wrongs shall all be righted: At his expense a banquet to You’re cordially invited, And in the Castle Chapel you This day shall be united!

ALL.

Hurrah! (all dancing). Oh, bright delight — go find a priest! The wedding and the wedding feast, At your expense, will soon be held, So thank you, Private Griffenfeld! Ha, ha, ha, ha, etc. At your expense they will be held, Three cheers for Private Griffenfeld! So thank you —

GRIFFENFELD.

Thank you —

ALL.

Thank you —

GRIFFENFELD.

Thank you —

ALL.

Thank you Private Griffenfeld! All dance off in couples, except GRIFFENFELD and REGENT.