There are cases when the simple truth is difficult to tell,
When 'tis better that the truth should not be known.
When we'd better leave it lying at the bottom of the well,
And agree with me to let that well alone.

What mean you?

Explain.

When we met at Compostello t'other day, my wife and I,
There was little time to talk when there were other people by,
Quite silent in the railway it was difficult to keep,
So I cleverly pretended to be very sound asleep.
There are cases when the simple truth is difficult to tell,
When we'd better leave it lying at the bottom of the well.

There are cases when the simple truth is difficult to tell,
When we'd better leave it lying at the bottom of the well.

And tho' I thought and thought again, and tho' my brain I racked,
I couldn't find a fiction ever founded upon fact.
How could I say a Captain of Ladrones I had been,
And the temporary consort of a widowed Brigand Queen?

In the cases when the simple truth is difficult to tell,
We had better leave it lying at the bottom of the well.

'Tis a difficult case, but a case you must face,
And we are the trio to do it!
You must try my invention; I've every intention
To see you successfully through it.

To whate'er you may say, as I'm bound to obey,
I will swear without any restriction;
I will aid you a bit, with my womanly wit,
And an air that will carry conviction.

'Tis a difficult case, but a case you must face,
We will see you successfully through it,
We'll swear what you mention is truth, not invention,
Oh, we are the trio to do it!
We'll swear what you mention is truth, not invention,
Oh, we are the trio to do it!
Oh, we are the trio to do it!
Oh, we are the trio to do it!
We are the trio, we are the trio,
We are the trio to do it!

Charming! So blithe and gay!

My Dolly dear,
Your sunny smile -

So nice!
(to RITA) I want to hear
The story of the brigands.

It's the tray.
The chocolate, tartine -

Be seated, pray!

The Brigands!

Silence for the Count!

I'll do my best.

Begin, I'm all attention.

So am I!

One lovely summer day
In the mountains we were straying,

We strayed far, far away,

Like couples gone a-maying.

I'll list to what they're saying.

We chose a lovely spot,
The sun was slowly setting,

By all the world forgot,
And all the world forgetting.

By a soothing, sweet cascade
We were sitting, spooning, luning

When we head a bugle play'd,
As though sadly needing tuning.

The Brigands! See! -- she cried.
Her fears were too well founded.
They swarmed! they multiplied!

And we - we were surrounded!

Then here and there, and all around,
Like demons springing from the ground,
They bound on every boulder.

A dagger here, a pistol there,
Yes, deadly weapons everywhere,
All pointed from the shoulder.

Beware! They take a deadly aim.

He was my sole defender!

My pulse beat quick,
The guns went "click!"
The brigands cry "Surrender!"

Ha! ha! that's good. (Stops himself.)

What, can it be,
That you approve such knavery?

Oh no! what so delighted me
Was your undoubted bravery! (bowing to VASQUEZ and RITA)

But say, my husband, where does he
Come in to show his bravery?

I'll tell you now where I came in,
And how I showed my bravery.

I was in the mountains walking,
With my photographic lens,
When I heard some people talking,
And the voices all were men's.
Then I crept along, so supple,
Gliding, wriggling, like a snake,
Till I came upon a couple, (indicating VASQUEZ and RITA.)
Bound, but very wide awake.
And I whisper'd, "Trust to me -
I'll return and set you free."

Then he wisper'd, "Trust to me -
I'll return to set you free."

Then you whisper'd, "Trust to me -
I'll return to set you free."

Strange - It puzzles me -
How on earth became they free?

Jumping on a steed, I galloped,
Galloped faster than the wind!
How I kick'd, and spurr'd, and wallop'd,
What I suffered - never mind!

Down the hills and through the valleys,
Over meadows, o'er the plain,
Passing castles, farms, and chalets,
Never, never drawing rein.

Gave him water dashed with arrack!
Then I made the pace increase,
Till at last we reached the barrack,
Where are stationed the police!

Armed force, my voice obeying,
Bravely charge the Brigand troop;
Inez, Sancho, José, swaying,
Fight and fall at one fell swoop!

Now I cut their cords asunder!
Moi qui parle -- I tell the tale!

Now he cuts their cords asunder!
Lui qui parle -- he tells the tale!

Then as after storm and thunder,
Reigneth peace o'er hill and dale!

Reigneth peace o'er hill and dale!