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Dialogue following No. 20.
Terence.
Now do you still think a man a traitor for being faithful to the lady he loves?
Molly.
Is it you, Black Dan, will say that with Kathleen there hangin' on you arm and every word ye speak!
Rosie.
What a nice girl! Have you a lover?
Molly.
No, ma'am.
Susan.
Poor thing! (A whistle is heard.)
Bunn.
(off) Erin-go-bragh!
Terence.
The password.
Dan.
Then it's either the Professor or Blind Murphy - one of the two - and spies both. Whichever it is shall have a warm welcome. What will we do?
Chorus begin singing "Och, the spalpeen!" etc.
Molly.
No! Get out of sight and hearin', while I see which it is.
All exeunt silently. Enter Bunn cautiously. He is dressed as on his first entrance, Act I.
Bunn.
Is this the place? Erin-go-bragh! Erin-go-bragh! No; there's no one here. No one at all.
Molly.
(coming down) Ye're not Pat, but the Professor - the Saints be praised!
Bunn.
Eh? Erin-go-bragh, my dear. Erin-go-bragh a thousand times. (Shaking her hand warmly.) Are you so glad to see me?
Molly.
I am that. I was afraid it might be - someone else.
Bunn.
Afraid it might be? (Ogling her.) Are we alone?
Enter Susan.
Molly.
You've a sweetheart here?
Bunn.
I can see that. (Looking at Molly.)
Molly.
Then it's a double-faced lover ye must be, seein' she's behind you.
Bunn.
(turning) Susan! (Greeting her effusively.)
Susan.
(aside) My detective! Are you going to arrest them all and carry them off by force?
Bunn.
Not by force. I employ stratagem with any number of criminals over ten. (to Molly) Where are the - er - b-hoys?
Molly.
They are preparin' a warm welcome for ye.
Bunn.
Really? I didn't know I was so popular.
Enter Chorus. As they seize Bunn, the begin singing, "Och, the spalpeen! Let him drown!" etc. At the end his coat is torn up his back, etc. Enter Terence and Rosie.
Bunn.
I really did not know I was such a favourite. You've nearly torn me in pieces. Really, I'm a perfect scarecrow.
Terence.
Listen, boys, and you, Mr. Bunn. Lady Rosie has kindly given me an idea. It's as a scarecrow you were employed by me; you undertook to scare the soldiers - and failed. You shall have one more chance. We are surrounded and are going to be attacked by a regiment of English infantry, eight hundred
strong. If you succeed in frightening them away, your life shall be spared by us. If you fail -
Bunn.
Yes, if I fail - it is not likely - but if I fail - ?
Terence.
As one of us you will, of course, suffer death at their hands.
Bunn.
Leave everything to me, sir.
Terence.
Everything is left to you - except a way of escape. What do you propose?
Rosie.
Might he not have a minute for reflection?
Bunn.
Reflection? Now you've given me an idea. Have you ever heard of Professor Bunn's apparitions?
Rosie.
No.
Bunn.
(surprised) Dear me, how large the world is! Where is the young person who appeared as the Fairy Cleena last evening?
Molly.
I'm here.
Bunn.
This time I will improve your appearance. I will make you appear weird - terrible - unearthly.
Molly.
I'm mighty obliged to you.
Bunn.
Listen! Every passer-by that sets foot in this place you will address in terms of passionate affection, and invite him to stay with you for fifty years.
Molly.
I will not.
Bunn.
Eh?
Molly.
What would I do that for?
Bunn.
To frighten him away. The Fairy Cleena is supposed to do it.
Molly.
That's her affair; there's nothin' I'd do it for.
Bunn.
Why on earth not?
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Page Modified 5 September, 2011