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ACT II - Scene 1

No. 15: TRIO - Dorcas, Rupert & the McCrankie


RUPERT.
  Hoity-toity, what's a kiss?
McCRANKIE.
    'Tis nae vera shockin'!
RUPERT.
  Do not take the thing amiss!
McCRANKIE.
    Lass, there's nae ane leukin'!
DORCAS.
  Hoity-toity, what's a kiss?
    Kissing goes by favour!
RUPERT.
  And when the kiss
Is a stolen bliss —
McCRANKIE.
    The sweeter is the savour!
DORCAS.
      Upon my word,
I never heard
    A statement more surprising!
      Aren't ye afraid
Of with a maid
    Your conscience compromising?

ENSEMBLE.

DORCAS RUPERT and The McCRANKIE.
    Upon a light
And starry night,
    Upon a light
And starry night,
  Ye would consult the latter;   We might consult the latter;
    But when the maid
Is in the shade
    But when the maid
Is in the shade,
  It's quite another matter.   It's quite another matter.

RUPERT.
  Hoity-toity, who's afraid?
McCRANKIE.
    When there's nae ane leukin'!
RUPERT.
  I could ne'er resist a maid —
McCRANKIE.
    When she shows her stockin'!
DORCAS.
  Hoity-toity, man, be mum!
    Hast thou had a glassie?
RUPERT.
  My friend hath come
From the Isle of Rum —
McCRANKIE.
    An' thou'rt a braw, wee lassie!
DORCAS.
      Behave thyself,
Thou Highland elf,
    Thy conduct is past bearing;
      I thought ye both
Had taken oath,
    Frivolity foreswearing.

DORCAS, RUPERT and The McCRANKIE.
      Like every man,
A Puritan
    Admires a waist that's taper,
      And on the sly
Will wink his eye
    And cut his little caper!

RUPERT.
  Hoity-toity, what's an oath?
McCRANKIE.
    Eyes were made for hookin'.
RUPERT.
  We are very human, both —
McCRANKIE.
    When there's nae ane leukin'!
DORCAS.
  Hoity-toity, things have come
    To a pretty passie!
RUPERT.
  The Isle of Rum
Is a trifle glum —
McCRANKIE.
    An' thou'rt a bonny lassie!
DORCAS.
      Thou horrid thing!
Thou Highland fling!
    I'm sure thou'st had a glassie!
      I won't by you — (box)
Or any two — (box)
    Be called a bonny lassie!

ENSEMBLE.

DORCAS RUPERT and The McCRANKIE.
    Oh, hist and whist,
Now, do desist,
    Oh, hist and whist!
Now, don't resist!
  Or I'll create a clatter!   Why make so great a clatter?
    Do set me free,
And let me be,
    There's none to see,
So what the d——,
  And cease your silly chatter.   The De'il doth it matter?

Thunder. Exeunt RUPERT and The McCRANKIE.


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