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No. 6: Duet (Cripps & Maguire) and Chorus
To MIDI File

Enter CRIPPS.

Cripps.
  Gracious, how I have been running,
    Backwards, forwards, in the rain —
  Impecunious clients dunning;
    All my trouble, too, in vain!

Chorus.
  Bow to the Registrar!
Bow to the Registrar!
Bow, bow, bow to the Registrar!
    He can the licence grant —
He is the man we want —
  Bow, bow, bow to the Registrar!

(All bow to CRIPPS.)

Cripps.
  Sitting in wet things is odious,
    Rheumatics my nature loathes;
  So, behind my desk commodious,
    I'll at once change all my clothes!
Change my clothes,
All my clothes!

Chorus.
  This is the Registrar!
This is the Registrar!
Bow, bow, bow to the Registrar!
    He can the licence grant —
He is the man we want —
  Bow, bow, bow to the Registrar!

(In the meantime, CRIPPS has dived under the desk and is concealed from their view.)

Maguire. (Recit.)
  Why, where's he gone?
    He's disappeared from view!
  Hallo, you sir! Hallo! (Craning over desk.)
Cripps. (showing his head only).
    Good day to you!
Maguire.
  This is my daughter, sir.
Cripps.
    One moment, pray.
Maguire.
  These are her bridesmaids — this her bridal day!
Cripps. (aside).
  No doubt a wedding party, come to make
Some purchases!
Maguire.
    Our names, perhaps, you'll take?
Our names, perhaps, you'll take?
You'll very kindly take?

CRIPPS, who has taken off his wet coat, puts it on again,
and prepares to take their names
.

Maguire.
  My name is Anthony Hurricane Egg,
Bartholomew Capperboy Property Skegg —
    I haven't done yet — Conolly Maguire —
Cripps.
    But really —
Maguire.
    I haven't quite finished — Esquire!
Do not forget the "Esquire!"
Chorus.
  His name is Anthony Hurricane Egg,
Bartholomew Capperboy Property Skegg —
Cripps.
    But really —
Chorus. (rising from their seats and dancing up to the Registrar and back again.)
    Also Conolly Maguire —
Pray, pray, pray,
Do not forget the "Esquire!"
Do not forget the "Esquire!"
[All sit down suddenly.
Cripps. (speaking.)
  Sir, the Christian names are immaterial.
Maguire.
  Oh! (Sings.) Oh, I was born at Pettybun
Chorus.
    On a Saturday — on a Saturday —
Cripps. (speaking.)
  Your place of birth is also immaterial.
Maguire.
  Oh! (Sings.) In eighteen hundred twenty-one,
Chorus.
    On the fourth of May — on the fourth of May —

Cripps. (angrily).  My dear sir, I don't want your biography — you have told me quite enough!

Maguire. Very good. (To BOPADDY.) Now it's your turn. (Loudly.) Now it's your turn. (In a whisper.) Now it's your turn.

Bopaddy. Oh! — my turn (advancing with dignity.) Sir (To CRIPPS.), before I consent to
become a witness in this matter —

All. (bursting into chorus). On a Saturday — on a Saturday!

Bopaddy. I should like to express my views as to the qualifications of a witness —

All. (as before). On the fourth of May — on the fourth of May!

Cripps. What's he talking about?

Bopaddy. In the first place he should be of full age. I am. In the second, he should be a
Briton by birth. I am. In the third —

Chorus.
  Bow to the Registrar!
Bow to the Registrar!
Bow, bow, bow to the Registrar!
    He can the licence grant —
He is the man we want —
  Bow, bow, bow to the Registrar!

All sit suddenly.

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Page modified 21 June 2010